What moms must learn to do….
Congratulations that you are a mom now, the most beautiful title in the world. One who is full of love and care. A mom whose prime focus of life only becomes the child and the family, and she has little or no time for herself whether she is working or a stay-at-home mom. If she is working outside then she has to manage and keep the work life & professional life balanced, and if she chose to stay-at-home, then her expectations to take care of the household stuff gets multiplied as she has all the time on the earth with her to manage everything. In this scenario what a mom often forget to do is to take control of her emotions. Due to the work pressure and expectations she end up losing her peace of mind and thus deteoriating her health. So I have some suggestions for you moms, as I myself have adapted these small changes in my life which not only made me relaxed but also positive towards myself.
Lets take a look what Changes I have made to myself :
Inculcating the word “NO”
You are a mom and yeah,a superwoman,that doesn’t mean you have to say yes to every task and responsibility be at home or office. You should say yes only after considering your time availability, other volunteer responsibilities, your commitments , and what you might need to give up to properly do that job. So learn to say “NO” when you know its not possible for you to wind up something within the given timeframe. Don’t hesitate just because “NO” would show a sign of failure. Saying “NO” doesnot make you selfish or bad, its just simple If you can’t do it, just say “NO” . Give it a try!
Don’t push yourself beyond the limits
I know that there are times when you’re overworked, stressed out and at your wit’s end and then the nagging like “what happened to this or that”, “You didn’t complete it yet”, “why is it still lying here” (especially If you live in a joint family) leave you with anxiety. So stop turning up your “heads over heels“ and don’t push yourself beyond what you can’t do. I remember when my kid was small & he used to wake me up through the night and the next day when my baby to sleep during the day time, instead of sleeping with him (very important -sleep when the baby sleeps), i usually got involved in some or the other task like cooking a meal, clening up the mess and then ended up exhausted again.
Screw expectations & share responsibility
Don’t just consider doing all the tasks on your own, ask other members of the family to share some responsibilities. it becomes back breaking while managing the children, household chores or office alone. Comeon! Your body also needs a break.. time to share small tasks with others like ask your husband to wind up the dining table at night, ask your children to fold their clothes and arrange the toys and books at proper place. You being the all-rounder might end up exhausting yourself and feeling depressed or restless. Don’t believe in pleasing everyone and meeting upto their expectations. Just make a simple rule that whatever you do, enjoy doing it by heart.
Its OK if its messed up sometimes
When my baby started walking and playing around with his little feet here and there was the best thing that I could experience. Initially I would clean all the mess that he created there and then inspite of how badly tired I was. But till the time he was awake I knew that all his toys, kitchen utensils, clothes, shoes etc etc would not lie at the place where they belonged to. So I decided not to just go crazy with the neatness fever that I had in my mind (safai ka keeda), its perfectly OK if its messed up sometimes.
Don’t Panic & pamper yourself
Remember every minute of your day does not have to be scheduled! If you have a doer mentality,you will think of all the tasks that lies ahead of you and then analysing how to sort out all the tasks at once like winding up the clothes (which is a never ending task with babies), cleaning up the toys and what meal to be cooked next, dusting or bla bla bla! Yet we need some time to do nothing. Yes ladies! There should be some time in the day when you should not do anything whether you are a working mom or a stay-at-home mom, that time should be for “you” only. No, by doing that won’t make you selfish. Start pampering yourself at a salon or at home if you have small kids at home who can’t leave their mamma.now-a-days there are many home service providers who can give you a nice hair massage or body or a nice body massage that’s sure gonna help you relax and give you a break from whats happening around in your life. This break will rejuvenate your mind and soul. So Start finding out time to pamper yourself and stay relax.
Maintain a To-Do list
This is a mantra that has helped me a lot. I jot down all the tasks for the weekend and then prioritize them. By listing them down and prioritizing them I hardly miss any important task to be completed. This is ideal for working moms as they generally gets weekend to organize their stuff, to visit the doctor, to visit the relatives, to look after their kids and meet their demands. Because weekend for a MOM is never a weekend where she is on leave, instead there are also requests for “kuch-special-khana” for weekends like Butter Chicken, Malai Kofta, Cake, which definitely involves spending more time in the kitchen than usual. So if I have a to-do list with me, I make sure that I make such special commitments to my family as per the time I have,along with the tasks that need to be done.
Believe me the day I adopted the above funda’s, I have actually felt more confident, energetic and positive about things happening with me.
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